3 a-day.

So, it's a hand that you place on your sleeping baby? Why are you trying to breed traumatised serial killers?














I suppose if your shopping list was so secret that a paper trail could jeopardise the mission, this would be useful. What are we actually paying for here? Transferable lines that go on your palm? They provide a pen that you use to write on your skin but, most pens write on your skin and are also capable of producing lines. Are the consumers of today concerned with the professionalism of the shopping list they have written on their body that imperfect, hand drawn lines to unnecessarily rest words on is unacceptable? I don't even know why I am trying to rationalise this, just use paper or memory.



This is called "the boyfriend arm pillow" but, unless your boyfriend is half a torso and an arm I foresee this items only purpose would be to frighten away potential real boyfriends once they find it in your house. It would sell much better if it was made exclusively for insane spinsters who are allergic to cats.

You're so deep.

Here is your chance to be a song writer extraordinaire!
Do you find it hard to express your fascinating and universally unexploited teenage emotions? Well, struggle no longer!

Use the following words to fill up the blanks below.

Heart, Stars, pain, spill, suffering, darkness, love, breaks, cry, moon, breathe, beauty, misery, death, broken, solitary, sinking, nobody, die, prison, emptiness, dying, wrist, shadow, beautiful, blood, words, dead, poison, empty, dark, break, midnight, alone.

I'm the ______ of your _______
My _______ doesn't love me tonight.
The canvas is _______ and _______
I can't _________ without you, I'm not alright.
I feel ________ and he _______ my _______.
I wish I was ________ so I can survive
_______ is my only friend in the ________.
Only ________ _______ reminds me I'm alive.
So, ________ please, _________ my _______.
I'm the ________ in the ______ sky.
My _____ hurts me, _______ knows me.
I am ________ and I wish I would die.


Congratulations! You're a starving artist and have just written the anthem for your generation!

Tim Burton, My chemical romance, black t-shirts with white writing on them, hot topic, high school, dashboard confessional, studio ghibli, acoustic covers, myspace, fingerless gloves that extend to your elbow, wearing a neck tie with a t-shirt, free hugs, Johnny Depp, Naruto, Taking Back Sunday, being "random", hating parents, buying multi-coloured shoe laces, pretending to write a diary, scratching yourself with stationary, drawing manga.

ECIV

I don't understand games that strive to reflect the total fucking banality and pointlessness of real life.

The new Gran Turismo game is so pathetic and boring that on the first level you get to drive your mother's car at 40mph while sticking to a blue line for two minutes. If you stick at boring tasks like this for 15 days straight you get upgraded to a car that only a boyband member would ever consider driving. Like one of the guys out of Blue or something. Something sporty like a Porsche or Ferrari.

I don't know anything about cars. I think they're over-priced and the myth about them being girl magnets is a marketing tactic that only works on boys who have failed to develop beyond the playground at school. This type of game is simply a simulation of boredom and the decrepit lifestyle associated exclusively for Lynx/axe-smelling, spotty, human slug boys who read FHM, watch "spike tv" and don't respect their mothers. The point is, this game's all about cars, the reality of cars. You start off battling yourself and your personal sense of self-worth while feeling embarrassed to be driving a car that doesn't look like an electric shaver and make people around you with caps on backwards, flick their nose with their thumb and call you dude.

If you want to have a fun driving game, play mario kart or micromachines. If you can't be bothered leaving your room in order to feel the static of real life, while thinking the best way to describe beer is with the word "awesome". This game is for you.