Well, I guess it would be nice, if I could touch your body, I know not everybody, has got a body like you.

When I leave the dormant comfort of my home, I am aware of the dangers that exist in the world. These irritating perils include, being randomly stabbed by someone, supernovas, drunk drivers, a sniper, food poisoning, children etc etc. There are loads, but it's the price that we must pay if we want to go outside and buy things, learn things or randomly stab someone. Terrifying the list may be, nothing scares me more than religion. I feel almost embarrassed that humanity has reached such an advanced stage of civilisation, technology and scientific prowess, yet still reside in having imaginary friends and believing in magic. I have a scrap of understanding for people who believe in a god as a form of self-therapy. If you don't have the time to invest in a universal pursuit of truth and logical understanding or perhaps, you simply don't have the mental capacity to advance your mind beyond childish fiction, religion acts as a romantic crutch that mollycoddles your ignorance and allows you to wake up with a smile on your face, even if there isn't a reason to smile. I realise that religion was once a practical social tool that kept poor people happy, preventing them from social revolution and attempting to seize the happiness which was reserved for the bourgeoisie. It was also understandably used to fill in the gaps of understanding when science was just a baby but, we're all grown up now and we no longer need this disgusting old comfort blanket. I'm mainly talking about Christianity.

My main issue with religion is how it essentially stunts the progression of humanity. There are loads of fascinating questions that surround our existence, not naive ones like, "Why are we here?" but ones like, "Does the universe end?" or "Is there life beyond earth?". The idea that humanity might eventually have the capabilities to explore these questions is infinitely exciting. Religion however, does not seek answers. It already knows how and why everything is what it is and that is because of god, problem solved now, go and sit in a cold and scary building while apologising for being human and wait to die so you can finally be happy. I remember a conversation I had with a girl a year or so ago, I was talking about how I don't believe in a god, she responded to my statement by informing me that I was going to hell. I responded with, "That's fine, you're going to flibopolydoo, it's worse than hell, it's like hell's sewer" She then closed her eyes, smiled and shook her head before telling me that this place I had threatened her with in fact, doesn't exist. She was right.

The concept of heaven doesn't make any sense or at least, sounds shit. I am under the impression that my body doesn't go with me to heaven because, it's in a box and looks scary and dead. I am therefore told that it's my spirit or soul that flies up to heaven, what the fuck is a soul? I'm told that it weighs three-fourths of an ounce, what the fuck does that mean? Am I to understand that my supposed 'essence" has a weight? What is it made of? Hope and teeth? Nonsense. Anyway, I assume that my overweight soul does not come with any of the sensory devices that are on my body because, they're dead too and when put together, weigh more than three-fourths of an ounce. So, in heaven I can't see anything, feel anything, say anything, taste anything or wank. What am I supposed to do there and why does everyone keep on raving about it? The idea of eternal happiness is subjective to individual differences and preference. I quite like pizza but I obviously won't be able to eat pizza because I don't have the appropriate tools to do so, even if somehow, for the sake of the argument, once I get into heaven I am given some kind of rent-a-body which allows me to taste etc. There is nothing that I enjoy enough that I would like to do for an eternity, I would end up fucking hating pizza, it would make me feel sick as would everything eventually.

Do dvds get released in heaven? Do we get them slightly earlier, like on an airplane? Are there televisions in heaven and if so, how many? Do we have to share one tv like in prison or do we all get an individual booth of some description which has a tv in it, is tv a sin associated with sloth? What about the god channel? I am not asking you, the reader, these questions, they are for myself. When a question doesn't have an answer it suggests that the nature of the question is flawed. For example, I could answer an infinite amount of questions regarding why I believe 2 + 2 = 4. I would be able to provide formulated answers backed up by evidence from a multitude of perspectives. However, if for some reason, I believed that 2 + 2 = 50, I would probably only be able to answer one question before getting upset and answering every other question with tears in my eyes and repeating, "It just does, ok?!" or "That's just what I believe, leave me alone!". Science doesn't get angry or upset when you question it. It already questions itself, it's one of the main processes of the study. You find a hypothesis and try to disprove yourself, you criticise your own methods and you record all your findings. Religion however, is afraid of being questioned, in the same way I would be if I believed 2 + 2 = 50.

An eternity of doing anything sounds nightmarishly boring and would quite quickly become a personal hell. I would also assume that the 'enjoyment rewards' in heaven are relative to what was available during the time of which you were alive. This would mean that if a well behaved cave-man managed to sneak into heaven, he would have the "eternal happiness" of a fire and a wheel or something. Do physical objects even exist in heaven or are we just allowed to interact with said object's soul? What do blind people do in heaven, if you believe the answer to this question is based on the notion that they will be able to see again, why? Reimbursing people with certain aspects of the human form implies that there is a perfected state. I would then have to assume that stupid people become smart, short people become tall, fat people becoming thin and so on. Heaven would have no personality and everyone would look sculpted into what is considered "best" regarding characteristics and attributes. Therefore, heaven would be the same as earth for a blind man despite maybe hearing nice sounds and touching nice things forever, exciting. It doesn't make any sense, I don't even know why I'm trying to rationalise it. In the long run, hell would be more like a hot bath that is uncomfortable at first but, eventually you get used to it and start to quite like it, then it just becomes a heaven, you just get a little bit more time before you become horrendously bored and miserable. There are a ridiculous number of holes in the entire concept of a world wide system of beliefs, It's terrifying. I want to sit down with a priest and just chat to them without them trying to convert me, talk to me in nonsense pseudo-proverbs, read sections of the bible as though they are evidence for anything, talk about god as if they sometimes hang out, or try to fuck me in my anus.



Religion has this disgusting habit of recruitment and indoctrination. It's funny and a little disturbing that religious people don't even recognise it. I mean I'm clearly an atheist but, my parents aren't. They didn't even talk to me about god, I was pretty much left to my own spiritual devices. I did a lot of exploration into the subject, read the bible, went to church a few times, studied science, read a few books on biology, theology and evolution and ultimately came to the rational conclusion that religion is not for me, because it's ridiculous and silly. I stumbled across this monster called Bebe vox, she is essentially just a trojan horse invading mainstream youth culture, stop trying to indoctrinate impressionable children by pretending to be "cool" Christianity. Cliche' synth dance vomit has nothing to do with believing in your imaginary dad. There is a page on facebook which is like some kind of "army base" for christians based on Bebe Vox. The name of the group sort of already raises the issue:

http://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/invadetheairwaves.

Invade the air waves? It sends chills down my spine. One of the group statuses is,

"Radio 1 are currently re-considering giving the song some airplay, so please pray for favour there. They've also said they'll interview BeBe on the chart show if she hits the Top 40 on Sunday! That'll take a big push in sales, but with a group this size, is easily possible if just a small percentage of us download and spread the word to others. (Please read http://bit.ly/aQ5sUU before commenting on this post.)"

To which a woman, whose default picture is of a gravestone commented with,

"totally agree with the link... Let's all be gentle with each other, i'm behind BeBe 100% xxx keep praying for this young lady, as i'm sure the enemy would LOVE to get hold of all the negativity and use it to drive a wedge between us and God..pray that BeBe would be protected during this project xx" Who is the enemy? Me? Is science the enemy? Is good music the enemy? It's like a joke that has gone too far. It's just zombies with staple smiles and glazed eyes reciting regurgitated scripted gibberish at each other and thinking anyone who has the ability to manifest independent thoughts is an "enemy".

It would be funny if it wasn't so deranged and spooky.

All religions are horrible to be honest. Furious tourists who are raised to hate something to such a blind extent that they blow themselves up in exchange for slaughter and the bizarre promise of being able to fuck a bunch of virgins. No, tourists is not a typo, I'm being funny. Oppressing the human condition and convincing women that covering themselves up is in someway spiritually liberating, violently enforcing religious rules unto the entire world, denying a blood transfusion which results in horrendous quality of life or death, denying condoms to third world countries. In general, if a religion compromises human life, doesn't it become completely contradictory to the nature of it's invention? I bet most people die on a sunday because everything is closed.


Ahmen.

Individualommunity.

I have this bad habit which, I'm sure many of you would be 'trend-setters' share with me. I begin to hate something once it reaches a state of popularity which has inadvertently attracted children and teeny boppers unto it's following. My mind has trained itself to ignore the playful and inventive intricacies of things such as, The nightmare before Christmas. In all honesty, I quite like it, there's nothing offensive about it and it fantasises upon interesting conceptual devices, great. However, if someone were to ask me, "Hey, do you like that film, Nightmare before Christmas?". I would reply immediately, without hesitation, "no, it was utter shit and you're a prick" I would probably then walk away from this encounter with a pseudo smug sense of self-aggrandising victory, most likely smiling to myself for seemingly top-trumping someone with my projected aura of trivial superiority.

If all went well, that human would have hung his head and felt ashamed for enjoying things which are easily enjoyable instead of, like me, watching independent films about social disillusionment and culturally fluent lesbians. Granted, these films aren't funny in a way that makes you laugh or interesting in a way that makes your inner-child want to drink acid but, have you heard of them? No? Check-mate, I win.

This isn't me simply raving about Nightmare before Christmas, it wasn't that good. It pretty much has become utter shit since it became some kind of goth brand for disgusting looking bags and sweat bands. In general I think I am referring my bad habit to the hot topic nook in the corner of every HMV which currently stocks a piece of literature titled "Robsessed". I feel like it's the social equivalent of inviting clinically obese people into an all-you-can-eat-buffet. Yes, they would probably enjoy it but, they don't know what's good for them! You're not allowed to be happy if I hate or am jealous of the things that make you happy.

I am however, very away that if when Twilight was released everyone saw it for how I seem to see it and just thought, "what the fucking fuck is this? Why have they made vampires into infuriating, over dramatic cunts with hair styles and six packs?" I would probably like it, just because everyone else would hate it. It's what I do, It makes me feel edgy. I may seldom enjoy something but once it gets promoted to the culture show in HMV along side Banksy, Tim Burton, zombie based re-tellings of classic books and absolutely anything in reference to vampires, It becomes vomit and, I can't touch it. Except Twilight, that was always vomit. I'm looking forward to the finale of Twilight, Justin Bieber's first drug induced rampage, Miley Cyrus' first unplanned pregnancy scandal and How To Train Your Dragon coming out on DVD.

My teenage angst just wont die.

I'm sure there is a place where art doesn't exist and people are fascinated by the most basic and mundane creations however, my doormat is not such a place. Aside from the people who can only appreciate art by it's ability to recreate to an organic photographic standard, the community wants to see passion and creativity. I'm sure you feel as though you are pioneering the new standard but, stop showing me your "Hipstamatic" pictures. Playing with lego doesn't make you a builder and using a piece of technology which creates art for you, does not make you an artist. For example, sometimes, while I am on the phone, I make incoherent markings with a biro onto a piece of paper. I don't then take these cave scribbles and present them to the world because, they are thoughtless and have nothing to offer the audience. As a general rule, you should only use the distortion pedal if you can actually play guitar.

I feel strained by a constant veil of disappointment in the people around me, my generation doesn't seem to have anything of tactful substance to say to each-other. It's dominant form lays casually in the art of intentionally misusing language and desperately trying to appear interesting by intentionally being stupid or strange. I say "intentionally" through a fog of optimism. We seem to be drones of competitive attire, status, sexual prowess and attention while being a shoddy copy the diluted interpretation of media icons and external stimuli. If I stop what I'm doing for a moment, my mind doesn't immediately stray towards thoughts of violence, vagina and drugs. This apparently makes me strange and am something to be collectively excluded. Well, good. I like the zoo but, I wouldn't want to live there. The introspective solitude might make me feel crazy but at least I'm going crazy for being sane.