Today, I left the stagnant comfort of my room and went to town to buy some cigarettes and something that kills ants. I'm not usually bothered by the existence of ants, they don't try and kill me so, I respond admirably with the same. However, since I've moved into my new house I've become very territorial and there are far too many ants outside. The ground is literally coated with them and there is at least 30 little holes scattered around which, isn't really a big deal, until I went out one day and the ant revolution had moved to the skies and they had begun to fly. This isn't a big deal either, some of them fly that's fine, well done, what else can you do? So, as I was saying, I didn't mind them flying or milling about on the ground but, when an ant comes into my house, up my stairs, into my room and just sits on my floor like he owns the fucking place is when a war has been declared. I gave you the outside but no, that wasn't quite enough for the bastards. They want to take everything from me. Anyway, I bought this stuff which is like food and they take it back into the nest and it kills everyone or something. They aren't dead yet though. I'm beginning to think that maybe this 'new age' product was actually an invention of the ants themselves, like a trick to get us to go out and buy expensive sugar and throw it around the garden for them. Maybe I should just hand over my room before they trick me into sprinkling poison onto my cereal.
This blog isn't about ants, I got side tracked
So, I was in Town. There was a man in a queue to use a cash machine and he was in a wheelchair. He was wearing a T-shirt that said, 'BEST OF DA BEST' on the back of it. When I first looked at it I thought about how I would never buy anything that replaced the word 'the' with the non-word 'da'. I then thought about how I would never buy something which omitted such an over-generalised, irrespective and outlandish claim. I mean, I'm fairly good at certain things but, I would never suggest that I am the best, let alone best of the best though, I'm not sure how that even changes the situation. Being the best already implies that you are better than everyone else? You can't have more than one person who is the best? Then, if you become better than someone who used to be the best, that person should no longer be refereed to as the best? So, you can't be the best of the best. Anyway, that wasn't the point, my point was how general it is. I wouldn't have minded if in smaller writing underneath it said, in brackets, at tennis or something, so I might think the T-shirt was a reward for a terrific game of tennis or something. But, as it was, it was just gibberish and foolish pride.
I then thought about how he was in a wheelchair and how much of a cunt I am. Wear whatever you fancy confident wheelchair man, don't mind me, I'm a bastard.
I didn't retract my thoughts because I feel like I have to tip-toe around the issue of someone being in a wheelchair. I just realised that the T-shirt was probably a form of self-therapy or a moral booster which is, fair enough to be honest. I would probably do the same but, mine would say, "Best of the best" because, I'm not a dick.
